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Author Archives: Clarence Worly
We Won’t Cum in Your Mouth… Promise
It’s a magical time of year. The Christian holidays are a fading image in the rearview mirror of the New Year and with the exception of Three Kings Day, Orthodox Christmas Day, Stephen Foster Memorial Day, Orthodox New Year Day, … Continue reading
Posted in Living as a middle-aged fat man.
Gun Fanatics Destroy Local Economy
Idaho Falls – Approximately 400 – 3500 frightened middle-aged white folks gathered at the Bonneville County court house yesterday to protest the federal government. Unhappy there is still a half-black president running the country, these self-proclaimed patriots took to the … Continue reading
Posted in Living as a middle-aged fat man.
Made in China
On behalf of my fellow AARP members, I would like to have an open and frank discussion about a plague in this country largely ignored by polite American society. Stickers. Not the awesome “I Voted” stickers you get at Hawthorne … Continue reading
Posted in Living as a middle-aged fat man.
Things Insomniacs Think About
Goddamn it, why can’t I just fall asleep like a normal person? I wonder if people who are assholes do that shit on purpose or if they don’t even realize they’re assholes and that everyone hates them. My back is … Continue reading
Posted in Living as a middle-aged fat man.
Hooray for Lance Armstrong
As Americans, we love to be told what we want to hear, and there are plenty of folks out there that are more than willing to fill that role. From infomercials to political debates to religion, it seems the only … Continue reading
Posted in Living as a middle-aged fat man.
Free Home Repairs
I dropped Alabama off at the airport this morning; she’s off to see kin in Southern California for the weekend. That means I’m a bachelor for two full days, and unbeknownst to most folks, I’m not very good at being … Continue reading
Posted in Living as a middle-aged fat man.
God Loves America
I was listening to NPR on the way home from work last night. Robert Siegel was doing a piece on All Things Considered titled Climbing down the fiscal cliff. Siegel had a panel of hoity-toity experts from fancy newspapers and … Continue reading
Posted in Living as a middle-aged fat man.
The Fiscal Cliff
I noticed the pre-cancerous basal cells are back on my face again. So applying average American voter logic, I’m gonna call 1st Street plumbing and have a repairman come over and take a look to see if he can treat … Continue reading
Posted in Living as a middle-aged fat man.
Merry Christmas to All
“What the fuck kinda dickhead would wanna own something like that?” was my Dad’s response as a vet and seasoned firearms trader to the first AK-47 he saw for sale at the Idaho Falls Armoury gun show back in 1973. “Fucking … Continue reading
Posted in Living as a middle-aged fat man.
Smart Phones – Jennifer Aniston Nude – And YOU!
Since I can remember, I’ve always hated talking on the phone. I was never one of those teens who wallowed around on the floor bleating nonsensical gibberish about who was making out with who and can you believe she said that? I’ve always likened … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized