It’s a magical time of year. The Christian holidays are a fading image in the rearview mirror of the New Year and with the exception of Three Kings Day, Orthodox Christmas Day, Stephen Foster Memorial Day, Orthodox New Year Day, Lee Jackson Day, Confederate Memorial Day, Robert E. Lee’s Birthday, Civil Rights Day, Martin Luther King Day, Idaho Human Rights Day, Prophets Birthday, Arbor Day, Kansas Day, National Freedom Day, Groundhog Day, Chinese New Year, Lincolns Birthday, Mardi Gras, Ash Wednesday, Valentine’s Day, Daisy Gaston Bates Day, and Presidents Day, there really isn’t much going on.
That gives me time to reflect on how Idahoans managed to live through an entire year without the 209 House Bills and 116 Senate Bills that may become laws in 2013.
It’s obvious we need more legislation, or laws if you will, based on how badly things went in 2012. Idahoans were murdered, raped, robbed, burglarized, taxed, ticketed, humiliated and expectorated upon at an alarming rate last year, and I’m guessing it’s because we were missing these 300 and some odd critical legislative solutions to all the problems I just mentioned.
Let’s examine just a few bits of this ingenious lawmaking we are paying our brilliant representatives to come up with:
House Bill 14: PROPERTY TAXATION - Amends existing law to revise the calculation of net operating income of low-income housing for property taxation purposes.
Hurray for taxing these deadbeat low-income welfare centers like City of Refuge! That’s a cash cow for Idaho since over half the state lives below poverty level. Time to pay up for the poor.
House Bill 16: PRESCRIPTION TRACKING – Amends existing law to clarify that pharmacists and practitioners may share information.
Finally, we can stop worrying about Idahoans trying to get their hands on pain medication for recreational purposes, no one wants to see a loopy housewife stumbling down the aisle at Smiths because she’s zonked on pain meds, it’s so much better to have her tweaking on meth.
House Bill 57 : MINIMUM WAGES – Amends existing law relating to minimum wage law to revise provisions relating to minimum wages and to remove provisions relating to tipped employees.
I think this means employers will be able to pay less than minimum wage. I sure hope so, the last time I ate out I was thinking, “If only our waitress was making less than minimum wage… I would be so much happier and the world would be a better place.”
House Bill 64 : ANIMAL CRUELTY – Amends existing law relating to cruelty to animals to further define a term.
It’s high time we got serious about animal cruelty and starting defining the term! In 50 or 60 years we should really have it nailed down as to what acts are cruel so we can begin a discussion about how to form a committee to look into who might be the best candidate to begin drafting a bill to investigate what type of legislation would be most effective to solve this statewide problem.
House Bill 114: GRAPE GROWERS AND WINE PRODUCERS COMMISSION – Amends existing law relating to the Idaho Grape Growers and Wine Producers Commission to revise provisions relating to the composition of the commission and terms of commission members.
I have lost many nights of sleep worrying about who could serve in the Idaho grape growers and wine producers committee. Now we have a law that tells us who can! If only this had been passed years ago, think about how much better off all Idahoans would be.
House Bill 191: MINORS – TANNING DEVICES - Adds to existing law to prohibit or limit the use of tanning devices by minors, to provide for exceptions, to prohibit a tanning facility from claiming that use of tanning devices is free from risk, to provide for penalties and to provide a scope for local governments.
This bill will keep Idaho teens from using tanning beds and looking like the mentally challenged kids on Jersey Shore. Perhaps we should add a provision that also keeps them from smoking meth, having sex, and getting pregnant. Thank goodness our legislators know what’s best for Idaho teens; obviously their parents should not be allowed to make decisions for their own children. This is an Idaho conservative’s version of smaller government.
Senate Bill 1044: MOTORCYCLES – Amends existing law to revise the definition of motorcycles.
Seriously? How about this: If the vehicle has two wheels and a motor it’s a motorcycle. This is what will take time up on the floor instead of figuring out to educate our children. Once again, this is an Idaho conservative’s version of smaller government.
Senate Bill 1111: CONDOMINIUM PROPERTY ACT - Amends existing law relating to the condominium property act to revise provisions relating to the allocation of percentage of ownership interest in a common area.
This seems worthy of spending lots of time on debate and argument. Just exactly what is the percentage of ownership of your condo workout room that no one ever uses? And still more of an Idaho conservative’s version of smaller government. This should really help eliminate our state’s skyrocketing crime rate.
So now that the ultra-far right Tea Party conservatives have ethnically cleansed both the Idaho House and Senate of all the RINO’s (Republican In Name Only) it stands to reason if these free capitalist patriots really want smaller government there shouldn’t be a single piece of legislation on the floor. In fact, the only reason these Congressman and Senators should be in Boise, sucking from the teat whose delicious free milk is Idaho’s tax dollar, is to strike laws already on the books, not add over 300 more!
But that isn’t how it works is it? Tea Partiers don’t want less or smaller government, they want THEIR government. The one where rich guys get richer, poor folks get poorer, and you taxpayers shut your fucking mouths and thank Jesus for all your blessings.
And here we have Idaho…